I am not Ozzy

I really love the book I Am Ozzy. Seriously, reading it almost cut in on my manuscript editing time. I could barely put the thing down.

There are some pretty wild stories in there, as you can probably imagine. I won’t divulge too much in case someone reading this plans to read the book in the near future.

But I will say a few things:

Ozzy was not always a fan of animals. Some of what he described in the book was difficult to read. One of his first jobs was killing animals in a slaughterhouse, so maybe that skewed his perspective a little.

He has a lot of regrets, not just about the animals, and he lays them all out on the table. He views his past with the eyes of someone much older and wiser. This book, I think, shows who he really is. He has a much more normal mindset than one might think.

Sharon Osborne is a fricking genius when it comes to business, and Ozzy would not be where he is today without her. Black Sabbath was in the picture before she was, but Iā€™m pretty sure Ozzy would have already faded into obscurity or oblivion without her skills.

That being said, I decided the book could have been improved by adding a British slang glossary. For your reference, I have compiled a brief list of some translations.

Chin – to punch someone in the face
Bog – bathroom
Arse – ass
Bollocks – testicles, but also nonsense
Nick – to steal, also jail
Slash ā€“ urination as in, taking a slash
Dodgy – suspicious or unstable
Legging it ā€“ running away
Neck – drink or chug?
Knackered – drunk
Sozzled – drunk
Pissed – drunk
Legless – so drunk you can’t walk

the end
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Other places to find me:
http://www.LeaRyan.com
Twitter: @LeaRyan1

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random monday updates

Currently reading: I Am Ozzy

I accomplished a lot more than I thought I would this weekend. I think I made it through three or four chapters of transferring on-paper changes to the witch book into the computer. I highly do not recommend editing 18 chapters on paper at once and then entering them manually. I have a stack of paper covered in my chicken scratches. One chapter at a time is much easier, I think. But, only two or three chapters left! Yay! An October release is so very possible. Maybe even September if I want to attempt to get on the radar before October.

I’m very glad to be finishing the witch book project. I love the book very much, but I’ve felt this pull to get back to drawing lately. I have a book full of sketches that I’m starting to feel obligated to use for something or another.

Other subjects.

Found: black nail polish with tiny glitters
Searching for: black nail polish with large glitters

Also found: suitable sunstitute for Urban Decay’s disgustingly overpriced Rocket Pocket lip gloss. It is Hard Candy Plexi gloss – similarly shaped packing, tastes like frosting, stays on forever, has color, $5. Sold.

This week, probably tomorrow, I plan to finish I Am Ozzy and post something in the blog about it.

Other places to find me:
Twitter: @LeaRyan1

show and tell picture time

I thought this shot was cool because it’s nature in action. I was sitting on a deck. I looked down and next to me, this spider was following a green caterpillar. He sort of looked like he really wanted to eat the caterpillar but didn’t know quite how to go about it. Of course, the caterpillar was running (as well as a caterpillar can run) for its life. You will be pleased to know that the caterpillar lived through this ordeal. I scared the spider when I took the picture. He bolted under the deck.

Also in the interesting photo department, I have a blurry camera phone picture of the Avatar DVD display at walmart. Note the wall of large, creepy, shiny eyes. Do you ever get the feeling you’re being watched?

What I Don’t Miss About My Childhood

And now for part two, what I don’t miss about my childhood.

10. Little brother meddling.
9. Endless room cleaning sessions.
8. The command line interface on ye old commodore 64, although having to use one may have contributed to my computer skill development.
7. Bratty children with low self esteem bullying me.
6. Walking FOREVER to get to school in any weather. Uphill, both ways, in the snow.
5. Being dragged along to whatever boring ass function the adult in charge of me at the time felt the need to take me to.
4. Having to do the dishes after dinner every night with NO DISHWASHER! The horror.
3. Not being allowed to watch whatever movie or TV show I wanted.
2. I couldn’t drive a car and I really love/loved cars.
1. No control over the dinner menu. I hate sauerkraut!!!!

That’s all for that subject, for now at least.

What the heck is this bug?

The blog is different today. I visited my dad this weekend and while I was walking around the wooded area on his property, I saw this weird looking bug. I am hoping that someone can help me identify it.

It looked like a bee at first because the body was sort of fuzzy and round. It flew in a way similar to a bee too. However, the coloring is wrong and there is this proboscis (feeding tube thing, yes I just looked it up) sticking out of its mouth. It was using it to feed or whatever from flowers.
Here are some pictures. The last shot is of the bug on a flower. Sorry it’s blurry!

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Other places to find me:
Twitter: @LeaRyan1

What I Miss About My Childhood

10. The fact that I wasn’t subject to the whims of the corporate man.
9. The ability to swim laps in a quarter mile pool without dropping dead of a heart attack.
8. Sliding down the basement stairs.
7. Video games for hours and hours without having to attend to any grownup type duties.
6. Being one of only two major focuses of my parents’ Christmas shopping.
5. Invincibility, except for those pesky occasional knee dislocations.
4. Summers in which my only responsibilities included having fun and keeping my little brother from dying while my parents were at work.
3. No worry about bills or how I would support my dependents if I lost my job.
2. Eating mass amounts of candy without concern for caloric intake and not gaining an ounce.
1. The option to punch the annoying asshole next to me without fear of arrest or prosecution.

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Other places to find me:
http://www.learyan.com/
Twitter: @LeaRyan1
www.flickr.com/photos/LeaRyan
www.myspace.com/Lea-Ryan