Woe Be Unto the Wearer of the Turtleneck

Woe be unto the wearer of the turtleneck
The style beckons with collar formality
I will look sophisticated in black?
Like a beatnik
Perhaps don a beret
Black against a background of black
Behold a floating head!
Magical, warm, snuggle-tight
Don’t let the shirt bugs bite
Now at a party, so like a sauna
A tropical temperament
Packed, crowded, stifling
Strangling, choking, constricting
about the neck
Masochistic wardrobe selection
Why?
What sadistic soul designed this bondage?
Let me out, for this thing restricts
The air flow
Lamentation! Woe! Regret!
Why don’t I carry extra shirts?
Does anyone have a pair of scissors?
If no, chances are
I may perish
Death by shirt
Death by turtleneck

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One comment on “Woe Be Unto the Wearer of the Turtleneck

  1. Bravo! You have put into words what so many of us have suffered.

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