Maybe the Grossest Story You Read All Day

I was an odd child. As with many children, I had more energy than good intentions.

In the third grade, I had some wax lips. I might’ve gotten them for Halloween. I might’ve bought them at the candy store down the street from my house.

wax-lips

Being the creative soul I am, I discovered that I could chew them up and then form the wax into shapes. I began to sculpt. I made small snowmen and other simple things, probably a cat or two.

I made a bunch of them and hid them in my desk. It was one of those models where the top flips up, and you stash books and whatever inside.

Then I came up with the bright idea that I would sell them. My classmates really seemed to like them, and they never questioned my materials. I sold several of these saliva and wax masterpieces.

Unfortunately, my gig didn’t last very long. I don’t remember why I quit. I think my teacher must’ve told me that I should not do such things. Of course, teachers did that a lot.

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